Whew! And that’s just the first half of the book. They honeymoon in South America and have bed-crashing sex that results in Bella getting knocked up with a half-vampire baby that practically rips her body in half to get out of her belly in a grisly childbirth scene that nearly kills her, except that Edward turns her into a vamp just in time. Human girl Bella (Kristen Stewart) finally marries Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), the vampire of her virgin dreams. (I don’t get it either.) In the final novel of Stephenie Meyer’s megabestselling Twilight series, the plot is crowded with incident. Start hating me now, Twihards, but the sexless, bloodless, padded and plodding Breaking Dawn, Part 1 is the worst Twilight movie to date.
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